I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
