p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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