This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
