no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I looked at my own cervix.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My dick has a subreddit
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
