I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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