You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize