best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
