We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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