the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
