I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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