I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
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I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
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I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize