How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
