dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
