somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
