Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
