I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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