i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
