my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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