it wasn't lemon gatorade
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
