i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize