Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
