Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Umm I'm too high to move.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Redeem this text for a blowjob
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
