just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
