I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm bleeding and have questions
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
