I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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