Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
