shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
