y did u give ur computer a hand job?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
