Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
