Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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