sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Randomize
