barbara walters just said penis...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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