never play flip cup with pint glasses
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
