Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
