My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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