I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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