im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
