Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just pee around me
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
