I'm passing your future prison.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
