She even gives head with a lisp.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
