I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
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