apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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