I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
