this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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