i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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