Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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