Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
