"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
