Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just google imaged poop.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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