he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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