im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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