so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
