I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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