listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
