If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
