Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
