I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The cops high fived after they tackled you
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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