Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
