Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The air was thick with penises
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
