Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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