dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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